The Coach

The Coach, aka Famous Irish Athlete Mick Kelly.

Coach has taught us a lot of things.

He's shown us proper technique.

He's shown us breathing techniques.

He's shown us how to train.

He's introduced us to world champions.

He's encouraged us when we thought we weren't progressing.

He's shown us that failure is an opportunity to learn.

He's advised us on how we should compete.

He's made the pain seem like fun.

He has selflessly promoted the sport we have all come to love.

He's made some of us into World Class athletes.


But there's something that the coach didn't show us. We compete with the tools that he has given us. But the coach never showed us how to lose. He's never shown us how to accept second best. He's never shown us how to give up.

We're on the last spell of our training. All that we can do and all that Coach has given us, we've done. On May 19th & 20th we complete. We compete for the club, we compete for the coach and we compete for ourselves.

Wexford Kettlebell Club...let's go make some noise!!

I am 1

Yep. One year ago I started Kettlebell training. One year on May 9th to be precise. I mentioned it here and likened the process of recognising competitive cycling wasn't for me to childbirth. You'd forget that you weren't Sean Kelly and keep going back to world dominance but get dropped on a local tour. A cruel sport where it never gets easier, you just go faster.

It's been an eventful year. Painful at times (those first 15 press-ups that John requested and caused my eyesight to go all funny) to the skin loss...oh the skin loss. To dropping a 20Kg kettlebell on your foot (just last week!!) to bursting your shorts 5 minutes into your 1 hour session. It's been fun.

I'm not going to go over old posts like the Secrets Revealed: Chapter 1 & Chapter 2 but I can recall these things:

• Igors Shorts
• Collettes wig
• Micks Chinese takeaway numbers
• Darth Vaders boot
• The Force being strong
• Secret training with a vacuum cleaner
• A woman on the left side of the gym
• Indoor snow angels
• New, shiny shoes
• Training that requires lying down
• Inistioge and the guy with 20 packs of crisps down his coat
• The horny prawns
• The ICA meetings on the right side of the gym
• The longer ICA meetings on the left side of the gym
• The comment "Which is handier?" when choosing LC or Biathalon training on the night
• Heavy breathing at the racecourse
• Medals, medals, _ _ _ _ _ _, medals (oops!)
• Problems with starting your 10 minute competition at the right time (oops x 2!)
• Upstairs out-numbering downstairs

Here's to the next year!!

I got a puncture

I got a puncture...I'll explain. It's called deflation. It's called an unexpected but always anticipated event. It's something that buggers up your plans...a little prick in your world, as it were.

Let me take you back a bit...back to July 2011. I'm sitting in a bus. Inistiogue isn't far away. We've just come from the Irish Kettlebell Sport Championships. Wexford Kettlebell Club did well...very well. A phone rings. Mick says that Kilkenny are suggesting using the National Championships next year (2012) as a means of selection for a national team. "Ah, you'll have to use 24's for that" says Mick. The chicken just laid an egg that was to hatch in mid 2012.

There, in the span of a phone call, was my goal. Qualify for a National team. I'd represented my country before, and won, but that wasn't physical. That didn't demand sweat, commitment, sacrifice and pain. It didn't require mental toughness. It didn't require failure. Age didn't matter...I was on a plan to become an international.

Now, lets put our feet back on planet earth. I was only using 12Kg kettlebells back then. I'd only touched a 16 at home but not for long. I hadn't competed. I had bought 2 x 20Kg kettlebells but they were going nowhere. SO was I capable of 24Kg within a year? I thought so.

So the winter passed. 16's became 20Kg. An RGSF rank of Level 1 was the gate to open to 24Kgs...my aim. They were/are heavy buggers. They move differently to 20s...there was a lot to learn about proper technique that brute force and ignorance would get you by with on 20Kgs.

The AIKLF had announced that on May 19th/20th the potential selection for a national team would take place...the time had come. Plans for the Biathalon took place. Increases in reps and time snowballed. But we had to know was it feasible...10 minutes with 2 x 24Kg kettlebells in the jerk then another 10 minutes in the snatch.

The first test lasted 7 minutes 40 seconds. Not to worry - a fail is a point where you understand what went wrong and put them right. A stomach bug put off the second planned recompensing test. Monday 30th April...the day before the deadline for signing up for the competition was to be that day.

But I got a puncture. I had failed before I set foot on the premises. The failure of the 10 minutes had grown roots in my head and they wouldn't shake off. 5 minutes into the test and that was that. 1 year of a plan collapsed. I'm not one for lovely sayings like failure is just a hurdle or failure is a problem to solve. It makes as much sense as gift wrapping a dead puppy. Failure leads you to reassess your aims, your values and your plan.

I'm not dismissing 24Kgs as a competitive option. For now I need to be real - 20Kgs are now my competitive strength. 24Kgs will take a little longer.

But one saying that does connect is - "I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying." On May 19th I will be using 20Kg kettlebells. And on that date I will be as competitive as I can be. A puncture never stopped me before...it just delayed my progress. But it does give you time to catch breath, to review your situation and plan a new route. Here's to May...and August...punctures permitting. 

Here, is the news...

HEADLINES :: HEADLINES :: HEADLINES :: HEADLINES 

Competitor in Kettlebell Sport Competition in Cork, Ireland questioned in relation to her "Robot-like" abilities. Sparks fly among the competitors.

Boy, 11, displays his supernatural ability to be able to lift kettlebells with his shadow. Scientists are baffled at the phenomenon.

Girl passes 20KG Kettlebell - "I didn't know what was happening then there it was...a kettlebell"

Catholic Church to release a statement shortly in response to what is believed to be the first credible sighting of the "Mark of the Beast". 

Caught on camera: 
A man with a deadly physical condition reveals the symptoms of his affliction. As seen in the captured photos his minders distance themselves from his contagious condition.

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS :: ENTERTAINMENT NEWS

 Wexford Kettlebell Club receive a lot of interest from Hollywood in the remaking of classic Hollywood films.

Charlies Angels is to be remade but following the advice of a Health & Safety Consultant it was deemed dangerous to only have 3 angels. The remake will have 7.

Oceans 13 will be remade with a greater level of equality involved so 7 female actresses are included. It will be known as "Oceans 13, like".

The Golden Girls comedy series is also to get a makeover. The actresses have been selected but as the previous version ran with ladies beyond retirement age, filming will not commence until 2062.

Amy Kehoe wins the Oscar for her portrayal of Dirty Harry:

I know what you're thinking. "Did she fire 6 jerks or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a 10Kg kettlebell, the most powerful kettlebell in the world, and would blow your head off, you've got to ask yourself the question: Do you fell lucky? Well, do ya, punk?"

One "Dirty Harry" fan takes the quote literally and examines a 10Kg bell for it's "most powerful kettlebell" properties.

In the remake of the A-Team producers have decided to take a risk and employ a female BA Baracus. Producers say that she has a head-start on all other contenders. 

Auditions for Murdock, "the crazy fool" will take place shortly given the high level of compatibility within the Kettlebell club.

AND FINALLY...

You can take the girl from Wexford but you can't take Wexford from the girl.

A competitor with the Kilkenny team, who happens to be daughter of former Mayor of Wexford, Gus Byrne, shows her genetic makeup with her natural aversion to wearing Kilkenny clothing. 

Secrets revealed - Chapter 2

It took some time to put together the "secrets" of Kettlebell Sport...people don't want to divulge secrets. Rather like trying to take a lolly from a child in some cases. But here are some secrets that have been noted.

1. If you can chalk your bell, your "in"
2. To an MSWC "in" means something else (a Russian sub-secret, yet to be understood)
3. 4 minutes on a digital clock can be assumed to be the same as 5 minutes on an analogue clock
4. Russians don't like you putting a foot near a Kettlebell. They will find you...and they will kill you.
5. The greater the contortions in the face, the nearer to letting a bell down...and needing trigger point work.
6. MS means Master of Sport in Russia...but it means "famous Irish athlete" in Ireland
7. To practice getting up on your toes in the Jerk just stand in front of a weightlifter...that'll keep you on them...and very conscious.
8. MSWC allows you to be so late for a session that it isn't even described as early for the next session
9. Guinness goes through Russians like castor oil through a cat
10. Russians go through Guinness in a similar manner
11. Don't...start...early!!
12. A Galway mans leg isn't as big as a Russian mans leg...not even in lycra
13. The threat of a coach wearing lycra helps to boost numbers attending a session
14. The fact that the coach doesn't wear lycra, just helps!
15. Music during a training session helps focus the attention.
16. The theme tune to "The Apprentice", doesn't.
17. A little known secret to boost strength is to try doing "Snow Angels" on the dance floor at a party
18. A well known secret is that one can fall coming from a party - be careful.
19. Don't try to break the balance of male -v- female on either side of the gym. Coach doesn't like distractions during a session.
20. Calling a male by a female name isn't classed as a distraction and is acceptable
21. Wearing new, white, clean, shiny, attention-drawing shoes will draw attention...regularly. Get them dirty.
22. Google doesn't know how to translate text speech - it's a great method of passing information between fellow kettlebellers, doe. {>.<}
23. The benefits of the move called the "Ice Cream Man S**t" must be kept a secret...even to those doing it.

To be continued...

"The Family"

Image courtesy of Kostas Simutis

21st & 22nd January was a date I was waiting for since the middle of 2011. Why... Igor Morozov of the RGSF was coming along with Elena Yurysheva. A 12 times world champion is not something you come across often but he was coming...to Wexford...to give a coaching seminar in a sport that I'd become addicted to. Literally & metaphorically speaking Christmas was delayed!!

17 individuals attended the seminar on a cold and looong first Saturday. The morning was about technique and theory, the afternoon similar. But the cold day and the standing around drained most of us...well, me anyway. 

In the back of our minds we were all concerned about the ranking competition the following morning. Waking on the Sunday, still with Man-Flu gripping (yes, it does exist) I just felt like getting back in the bed. I'm sure others did too. We started, we exerted, we brought several months of training and varying sacrifices to this one or two 10-minute sessions. And this was where the same atmosphere that I'd witnessed in Kilkenny last July when I first saw competition taking place was to repeat itself. People who had their own lives, from other parts of the country, came together in support for each other. It was a group of individuals fighting their own limitations but with the unifying support of the whole group. It was as if we were bonding by our challenge.

One individual said that they "constantly meet new friends" at these types of gatherings. Another observation was that the sport doesn't allow for egos, it doesn't allow for elite-ism only helps to bond a friendship. A later observation of our own Wexford Kettlebell Club was that we're "like one big family". And so it is.

This came very evident when one of our gathering fell. Various factors led to disappointment. But not for disappointment for the individual but for the group. But like anybody in a close family falling they were picked up and with their own individual strength they started again. Nothing, but nothing could explain the joy and delight that we all felt when the second attempt was successful. The inner strength of that individual to stand up again and repeat her performance was nothing short of inspiring. And the shared joy - a display of the sharing nature that this sport brings.

We came away from the seminar with knowledge and experience but also with an ever growing "family". The saying goes - you can choose your friends but not your family...sometimes you can be lucky enough to do both.