I'm not right in the head

Friday 19th August. I haul my sorry ass to the Kettlebell Club. I say my sorry ass because I was tired...again. Yeah, another tough week at work. Wednesdays evening session at home was shortened...a little tired and just wasn't doing what I wanted. But Friday...I wasn't going to stay at home. I had to do something to maintain form. I started with the 16s which now seem casual...straight forward routines until you rip your hands. Then to 20's for the relay. I came home wrecked.

This has been a common cycle of late. Good week...then tired. Almost not recovering. I had a great 2 weeks holidays where the 16's quickly became light. I was sleeping 9-11 hours per day. Great!

But that wasn't the problem. On and off for the last 4 years I'd be nodding off asleep and suddenly jump up gasping for air...almost as if I was forgetting to breathe. The first time it happened was frightening and I even took one of the young lads inhalers for asthma. So it continued. Cathy would say "are you forgetting to breathe again?" And that's how it seemed. Friday morning I woke at 3am. Nodding off the same thing happened. Eventually I went off but woke at 6am...same thing. So I Googled "Forget to breathe" and "sleep". The page lit up with Sleep Apnoea.

Sleep Apnoea is where your body stops breathing for one of 2 reasons. Reading symptoms and accounts they all say "Get to a Doctor" and "It can be fatal"...rather a rude awakening for a Friday morning. A visit to the doctor and he confirms, to his best knowledge, that it is Sleep Apnoea. An appointment with a professor in Dublin next Tuesday should clarify this.

The two reasons for Sleep Apnoea are either nasal or throat blockages such as what causes snoring. But I don't snore and I don't have any restrictions. The second reason is that the part of the brain that controls the respiratory system goes asleep when you do. It's the presence of CO2 or absence of Oxygen that force the body to breathe again. And so the cycle continues all night so that you don't get to REM sleep (deep, restful sleep) and your heart rate rises to compensate for the on/off breathing. This leaves you tired all of the time. I only notice it if I gasp for air as I sleep but it's a but more subtle during the night that a partner may notice it but you don't.

I'll see on Tuesday what course of action I need to take...so if I'm a grumpy fart or I fall asleep in mid conversation you'll have an idea why...it's not you!

Secrets revealed, Chapter 1!

All sports have their secrets and tips...whether it be training or performance. Kettlebell sport is similar. Here's a few I've picked up along the last 3 months...you can decide on what's for you, or not! ;-)

1. Never use Fairy Liquid before a snatch session...it softens the hand
2. Wet your tee-shirt before a jerk competition to help grip...unless you're female which makes it a different type of competition
3. Warm-ups are for wimps
4. Stretching is for bendy wimps
5. Opening the gym door can be considered a substitute for the warm-up
6. Don't chalk your kettlebell in the chalk bucket...it snows on your first fixation
7. Don't chalk your kettlebell in the chalk bucket...coaches don't like chalk on the shopfloor
8. Limp and whine and complain...the coach will chalk the bell for you
9. Listen to your coach carefully...sometimes it can half your workload on a session
10. You can find your balance in the 2 handed jerk if you practice with 2 glasses of Jameson
11. If you're consistently late...get the t-shirt to divert the attention that you were, well, late!
12. You can tell the 10 time world champion to "Shaa-up" when he offers advice (female only, yet to be proven effective for the slow moving male).
13. Placing a 28Kg kettlebell on the floor in front of you immediately sees all other practitioners demoralised (usage of the same said 28Kg kettlebell is optional)
14. Coaches don't like the placement of a 28Kg kettlebell on the floor - proceed with caution
15. If the coach spots the placement of the 28Kg kettlebell on the floor you'd better be prepared to put it back or use it
16. Rain and sweat are not the same thing
17. Sweat bands are only useful if you sweat
18. Running is only good if you're a thief or a victim
19. If  your knees sound like Rubik Cubes after running it's probably time to re-assess that element of your fitness regime
20. If your coach invites you upstairs...it's probably going to hurt
21. If your coach likes ice cream swirls doesn't mean it's the coaches advice
22. Don't call a coach an assistant coach
23. Wear loose shorts - a burst shorts within the first 5 minutes of a 1 hour session is difficult to hide (personal experience...a secret revealed!)
24. Suggesting certification and ranking certificates were bought on Ebay really pisses off an assistant coach.
25. Fish is an excellent addition to your diet...assuming it isn't accompanied by chips.
26. Hitting your head on the way down from a jerk fixation may cause an international incident...or disqualify you from competition...or even hurt. It isn't recommended.
27. Telling a guy who competed with 2 x 32Kg kettlebells that it looked easy may result in him walking away. Again, not recommended.
28. It is not a good idea to be kept awake by 2 ladies for 39 hours before a ranking session...seriously?
29. Practice your clean against a wall - if you scrape your knuckles you're cleaning the wrong way
30. The word "Start" spoken in a Russian accent means "Start"

To be continued...

There's no "I" in TEAM

Yeah, you've heard it before...there's no I in TEAM. It's the common motivational sermon of the team manager to aid cohesion. There ain't no individuals worth more than the team. And it's true in some cases...where would Mark Cavendish be without team HTC Highroad? Or indeed could Wayne Rooney cope without 10 other skilled players?

A couple of conversations recently set me thinking on this subject - there's no I in TEAM. One individual explained how he left a team sport in favour of boxing - an individual sport because he was putting in the effort to be fit while others were out drinking the night before a match. He was making up for their lack of fitness. Where was the fun in that! And I can understand where he was coming from and wanted his input to be rewarded, not withheld by the lack of effort from others. Another individual reminded me of the times past when as part of a cycling team we used to celebrate together after each weekend race...win, lose or draw...yet cycling is more or less an individual sport. I mean, nobody says Team BMC won the Tour de France, Cadel Evans did.

So is there an "I" in "TEAM"? Yes there certainly can be. Reflect back on an earlier comment...where would Manchester United be without Wayne Rooney? Still certainly successful...but as much so? Would HTC Highroad have won so many races without the ability of Mark Cavendish in a sprint?

So we come to the sport of Kettlebells. It is most certainly an individual sport. Once you're on your platform and the clock starts...it's all you. Nobody can assist you or support your efforts. Nobody can train you as hard as you train yourself...it's down to your ability. So on the face of it, it isn't a team sport. 

But what if an individual could be a member of a team of people who appreciate your, and their aims as a common goal? Cycling being an individual sport still requires the help of your team mates to win. Kettlebells...well, not really in the same manner. But if it wasn't for the support of your club members, the banter, the pushing of each other to excel, the coaching, the direction, the camaraderie, the challenge, the appreciation...would that individual still be as good if they were on their own? Nah...don't think so. I couldn't push myself on my own and it takes a special breed of person to be able to do that.

Certainly there's no I in Team in a literal sense but there is scope for individuals to aid a team to success. But in the sport of Kettlebells without a team...there is no I.