Steve Maxwells 300 Kettlebell Challenge - Tick!

I mentioned earlier about the "300 Kettlebell Challenge" from a guy called Steve Maxwell. I got a hold of this routine when I first got interested in the Kettlebell waaaay back in April I and mentioned the 300 Challenge and how I tried it with the intention of making it the 150 Challenge but didn't stand a chance. I had trouble doing the techniques on DVD #1 let alone reps of this routine.

Well tonight I was anticipating the delivery of the second 16Kg cast iron Kettlebell but I anticipated it too early so I was stuck with the 1 bell or the 2 20Kg bells. So I said I'd have a go at Steves Challenge again. Wondering what's in it? Well, it's 18 routines with a total of 300 reps...but the Kettlebell never leaves your hands. If you follow DVD #2 with Steve it takes 26 minutes. Here's the list of exercises. Tonight I flew through the exercises bar one...the Deck Squat which is an inhuman exercise. So I had to make do with regular squats for now.

But 8 weeks ago I couldn't have anticipated this routine at all let alone with ease and in total (apart from the aforementioned deck squat). I shall consider another box ticked in my head.

Second Reading from the Prophet Michael

Beware those who have not worshiped the sacred bell. Let it here be known that the Gods fall foul of those who do not follow the sacred plan. Those who don't follow shall be banished to a life of torment and temptation.

For there's is a life of pain and excess. They shall be treated as lepers and treated with scorn. One such peasant has succumbed to the ways of the dark side and fallen into temptation. Alas, a lifetime on the Group of C will await her.

The flake looks nice though!

First Reading of the Prophet Michael

And on that fateful night the Prophet Michael spoke. 

"Thou shalt not consume pints of the Devils urine"

"Thou shalt not partake in the feast of the beef wrapped in unleavened bread"

"For I am the barer of doom...thou shalt suffer soon. The fury of the Gods cometh and thou shalt feel it's pain"

And so it was. The two wise men, Alan of Blue Peugeot & Jason of Yellow Falcon spoke of learnings of the Gods. Numerical conundrums bounded the fearful tales...tales of 2-4-6-4-2...the mark of the beast. The followers bowed to the temple to find the markings of the beast were indeed true and adorned the Tablet of Prophecy.

And the followers did suffer. 2-4-6-4-2 forever to be recalled through the generations as foretold by the Prophet & the two wise men. But the true followers survived what the Prophet Michael unleashed. But it is written that the Gods will get stronger. The followers will be challenged in their faith, but be warned, the doom shall darken the skies and punish those who do not follow their path to destiny. Those who falter shall be placed in the group known only to the few as "The Group of C". Adams & Eves who break the foretold commandment to forsake the devils urine & beef in unleavened bread shall be banished to the depths of the "The Group of C". Those who present themselves to the following past the time of the 6 bells will need to repent to avoid "The Group of C". Pray brethren that the faith can be strong and good will indeed come. 

Sweet Jesus!!!

The power of the bell on yer bike

Last April/May 2010 Slaney Cycling Club ran a league race for A4's, beginners and novices. All was run on a flat circuit with generous handicaps devised to make the A4s work hard and improve fitness and make the beginners/novices get some thrill of competing with a realistic chance of winning. On the first night Keith Cullen was in the group with myself and Damian Heffernan. Many had gone up the road ahead of us after the A4s caught us on the third lap. Now we contemplated in our own heads what to do - race to try in some vain attempt to catch them or sit up and just ride in. We collectively, but silently decided to do something in between and ride hard but never enough to blow up.

What struck me that night was the strength of Keith Cullen. He rode at the front of our group at a fast, steady pace. Damian, in his infancy of racing like my latest return, had enough and let Keith ride away. I couldn't catch him. So, curious on where Keith had learned this ability from, he told me of the strength training of Total Fitness Systems on a Wednesday night.

Today I realised that benefit too. Riding on my favourite Kilmore Quay-and-Back route I put on a 50x15 gear and steadily rode at 18-20mph into the wind. More like 19-22mph in a tail wind. I didn't have the fitness or miles to hit a 95rpm 34x15/14 ratio but had plenty of power to just sit and turn a gear with little effort. The kettlebell work had strengthened the core, back & hips to put the strength of the legs to the pedals. All previous ailments like the neck spasms & shoulder tightness were non-existent.

The combination of bell & bike certainly proves positives for both sports.

One step forward but still 1 step behind

Another beautiful Summers day in Wexford and the drains are flowing with the rain of a month that fell in a day. The now usual Friday evening session in Westpoint looked on the face of it to be a nice uncomplicated and peaceful schedule. Initially jerks, then some casual snatches, some hold & swings and that was that. "An easy night lads" says Mick before he apologises for next weeks routines. The ideal night to progress to 16Kg bells.

Yes...20lbs extra per jerk was pleasant. Delighted to be honest...then noticed Paul had gone to 24Kgs (much to the dismay of Mick), George was on 20s as was Jason. So progress by me didn't match the others...just kept up with my own progress. Still, progress is progress.

An observation was made though...or was made for me and confirmed. When warming up, Mick swings his arms twice as long with the right arm than the left. That's because he talks when swinging the right arm, not the left. There has to be some medical explanation to it...

And one can only assume that after that session some individuals monitored the balanced diet of 2 quarter pounders with chips. I'm liking this Kettlebell sport!

Just listen...

A mistake of mine in the past on the bike was that I just didn't listen to my body when it had enough. You'd miss training and fail at the next race...a complete fallacy of course but the mentality of cycling leads you to these dark thoughts so you try harder to overcome the restrictions that fatigue brings about. Sometimes rest will train your body better than beating it into the ground.

Friday 17th June...I'm tired. It was a mentally busy week and by Friday I was fit for nothing but dribble at the mouth. I skipped the 2 hour fun fest at the Kettlebell Club...I'll go in the morning instead. So I rested...11 hours sleep before I know what was going on. Checked up the time of the Saturday sessions and missed the 11-12 slot so I prepared for the 12-1pm slot. Got there and realised that the 11-12 training session is actually 11 - 12.30. So I missed it. Damn & Blast. But secretly I wasn't too disappointed.

But I didn't come home and say I'd do a bit with the black & grey ball. No. Rest. Sometimes if you can't make your own decisions fate will play it's hand...tomorrow is another day and lets hope the "Summer" brings about something other than the usual thunder, hail, rain and cold so that the Cervelo R3 can get a stretch on the pock-marked Irish roads.

9.8 tonnes high

Full of energy on Wednesday I was. When I started cycling I'd do a tour with Wexford Wheelers and then repeat the circuit the following few days to get routes into my head. Similarly I'd been doing this with the Kettlebell. When we'd do a routine on Monday I'd repeat it on Wednesday at home. So Mick was explaining what Igor Morozov had done on his visit earlier in the year on his day off. Off for a run, 40 minutes skipping then 40 minutes of 1 minute on, 1 minute off jerks with 32Kg bells.

Hmmm...I can do that...sort of. So Wednesday came and I warmed up for 40 minutes of minute on/minute off jerk with 1 x 20Kg bell. Starting off with 16Kg for 3 sets to warm up at 20 reps each I was ready for the 20s. Yep...20 reps for the first 2 sets then the body said Nyet (Russian for feck off). So I alternated 3 sets 16Kg, 3 sets 20Kg with 16 reps for the 20s.

40 minutes came...yeah, still feeling fine so we aimed for the hour. Whoa...1 hour and 9,840Kg later and we were fried. It's like one of those breakthrough moments. And it felt good. I was ready for anything. Then I forgot about the test on the following Friday that nearly killed me. 8 minutes of jerks followed by 8 minutes of snatch. My feet touched the ground again.

A pair of grey balls

I had to get a pair of balls...sorry, kettlebells. I'd got the black number, 16Kg cast iron bell but I wanted competition size. No point in getting 2 more 16s, no point in getting 12's (I wanted to progress). So I went for 2 20's...grey balls with handles. Another phonecall:

-Hello...your dumbell things came

-Great stuff

-The postman left them at the door again...they're bigger than last time.

So I got home and opened the boxes - sort of odd to have a cardboard box around a 20Kg bell - it won't hold it. "Jesus...how are you going to lift them?" The wise one was seeking knowledge. "Like this" says I as I threw one over my shoulder and grimaced above my head. Swaying like a tree in the wind remembering the Dark Side incident where you don't want to show that you're weak. Jesus...why did I go for 20's?

It isn't so bad now. I can use them individually and they sit there tantalizing me..."Lift me, lift me". But no. all in good time.

The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming!

Yup...you'd be forgiven for thinking that the Kettlebell Club was an multi-national group with the adornment of Russian tracksuits on that second fateful evening. The international team had returned with tales of woe and the fearless quelling of the support of 10 times World Champion, Igor Morozov. "Sha ap!" a-la Vicky Pollard...aye, it sounded like the making of an international incident.

It was a fun evening...kind of intimidating to see Vicky, aka Sandra Goodison, throwing a 20Kg bell up with such grace when you have the flow of Russian red from your torn hands. Ever drive home with no skin on your hands? Still, it was fun.

Joining the "Dark Side"

I phoned Mick of Total Fitness Systems..."Come on up on Monday but I'll be in Russia" says he. "John'll look after ya". Grand. I walked in early to get a good seat...spoke to John and explained my level of expertise that I'd picked via Youtube and my 5 reps of this and 5 reps of that.

"Show me a Jerk" he says. I did a press. "No...do it like this" as John showed me a double dip that looked like something you'd see a well oiled alcoholic do at 3 in the morning outside a night club still hearing the music in his own little world. I can't dance so this wasn't pretty.

The members flowed in. I stood and waited. John then informs me that I wasn't the only first-timer that evening...me, and 8 ladies dressed almost entirely in black. "Come over this side"...John ushered me to the Dark Side. The term "Blessed art those among women" didn't seem that funny when you can't stop your routine before any of them...ever. It's a man thing.

So we threw around a few bells...handy. "Aerobic session" says John. Oh poop. I wasn't fit...still not that fit. So star jumps, press-ups (I'm on the full ones, the ladies are on the half ones). Several minutes later everything looks like a different colour...I'm sweating like a heavy rain shower...but I can't stop before the congregation. I look up and the established members are lifting 2 kettlebells each. I feel another contraction coming on.

That nights sleep was fun. My heart rate was so high that I didn't sleep much. The following morning my black off-the-shoulder number was viewed with contempt. I've got to get a pair of bigger ones...yellow or grey...not the red or green though...no, not them.

A little black off-the-shoulder number

Ebay...where else would you look for something cheap. The Kettleworx shopping channel delight suggested a 10lb kettlebell for men...a full 10lb. And I nearly swallowed it. A little search and I found a guy called Pavel Tsatouline suggest men start with 16kg. KG? that's like 35lbs...not 10? But I'm a man, eh! 16Kg of cast iron it is.

Several days later I cat a phonecall:

-Your dumbell thing came

-Great stuff

-Feckin' weight of it...the postman left it at the door

-Uh-oh!

So a plan was to try to get the lifts right...I'd seen videos so it was easy. Huh! There ain't nuthin' easy about lifting 16Kg for the first time. I'd seen Steve Maxwells 300 Kettlebell challenge so I said I'd try it but only half. I'll bet Mr Maxwell never thought of the 150 Kettlebell Challenge. Just as well...I got nowhere near it.

"Why don't you go up to that gym with the Kettlebells?" spoke the wise one who left the little black off-the-shoulder number at the door. Yeah, maybe.

Childbirth

"Sunday morning...April 4th. Shot rings out in a Memphis sky..." Well, not exactly but it was close. It was April when I found my new distraction...Kettlebells.
Now unsuccessful cycle racing can be like childbirth to a woman...you forget the pain after a while and try again. As Billy Connolly put it "If I s**t a melon I'd...never...f***ing...forget it". I'd been cycling for years...on and off. I'd start and it'd feel tough initially. I'd train and train and it'd get easier. I'd race and eventually get up there with the contenders but how do you beat them? You train harder. Then how do you beat the guys whos level you've got to? You'd train harder. Then how...you know where this is going. There comes a time when you think to yourself "This is just plain stupid". It's a sport that takes 100% comitment but with a family you can't give that unless you have a natural ability. I didn't.

Then you spit the dummy and say enough is enough. I did...several times. But you forget what it took. You forget the commitment, the hardship, the long miles, the pain...I can feel a contraction coming on. But you do it. In 2010 I tried for a baby again and threw my leg over (the bike). I won too thanks to sound and genuine handicaps by the kind people of Slaney Cycling Club. But how do I beat the scratch group...I train har...another contraction. I started in October 2010 on my winter training plan that would see me excel in March 2011. 2 weeks in, 1 hour of hardship on rollers, a sinus infection and I said enough was enough. For good. I was over 14st. I was 41-almost. I didn't want to spend the winter starving to reduce weight...it was all another phantom pregnancy of sorts.

Fast forward to April 2011. Disillusioned with the sport that I couldn't effectively contest I watched Sunday morning TV instead of 5 hours on the bike in the cold and wet. Shopping channels can be fun but I saw an advertisement for Kettleworx. Hmmm...that looked like fun...if you peeled away the Americanisation of the businessman with no time, the mother with no time, the gay-like fitness instructor who doesn't sweat. Funnily enough that same week a photograph on the local paper showed 3 folks of Total Fitness Systems being invited to Russia to compete in Kettlebell competition. And that was that. I'd found my new vice and I was ovulating at the thoughts of it.